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Tied Up too Tight

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Read Next Woman carrying baby punches straphanger in face: cops. Share Selection. But I was not having some kind of delusional experience. Sitting there, right next to the feather tickle toy, was a set of wrist cuffs and a blindfold. Of course, there was a study to go with the leather.

Tied Up and Taken by Mr. Hollis

It seems that Cosmopolitan Magazine had done a study and more than 80 percent of the women polled said that they had this secret fantasy of being tied up, but that they couldn't ask for it. They were too embarrassed.

All of this shame. I am so done with shame. We waste so much time stuck in that dark place over our sexual desires instead of exploring healthy sexual pleasure. And let's face it, Cosmo's numbers are pretty big. There are so many people who want to be tied up that there is hardly anyone left to tie the ropes.

The majority of the respondents to the survey wanted to be the one in restraints. We are a society of people who are busy running—and running the show. What turns so many of us on is the fantasy of just being able to give it up and surrender sexually in a safe and consensual way. I am glad that I listened to my mother and turned on the television. It was a taboo-breaking moment. Thank you Pamela for this post. Fun as usual I like to use a quote from Steward Black head of the Core Energetics program while I was in a workshop with him a few years back "The thing we fear the most is not pain or death, what we fear the most is our own pleasure; deep, unashamed, out of control pleasure".

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We live in a very controlled and rigid society, we set standards on morals and behaviours hoping that the next person mostly our peers or people we perceive to have power will set the example so we can load all the blame and shame on them when they fail. And typically we call it failure when they act out on the things we crave.

How dare you having so much fun! Shame on you for playing with BDSM! I remember how much I longed for someone else to be in charge, to be in a situation where I had no choice but to surrender, no control any more even if it was just for a short period of time. I could finally melt and feel what I feel. To know deep in my own core that some one else will take care of me. What a relief it was when I finally allowed myself to be.

I believe that most people do not venture in power play even the mild fluffy hand-cufs and silky blindfolds because we learn that Power is something that we use OVER another. Specially when we set boundaries and can trust that the person "in power" will honor and respect them. But with so much more joy and pleasure that sometimes I still have to check if it is all true Yes, I live my dream, life is very good. Thank you Kristian for continuing and broadening the conversation past the blog.

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Great comments - thank you for sharing so deeply. I have never understood why people are so squamish about this. Not having to be responsible is pretty attractive to a lot of very responsible people. Isn't this the whole premise behind "bodice ripper" fiction? Thanks John B.

Some of us carry less shame than others. But by beginning the conversation and making what we desire and hide - come out into the open - we free up so much! It is so much better in the sun light! Not too long ago, the BDSM community was underground. A curious beginner would have to actively seek out a community in a large city, attend orientations, learn safety skills and begin exploring BDSM under supervision of experienced players. Now, the entire spectrum of BDSM is just a google search away.

This accessibility has lead to a huge growth of the number of people who are actively exploring kink and BDSM - at a price. The safety of community trainings and active "dungeon monitor" supervision is gone - and people are being left on their own to learn how to play safely.


Sexy Step-Mom Tied Up Helpless And Taken Advantage Of - Fuqer Video

Once you start searching anything related to SM, the imagery gets really intense really quickly. From a light spanking to heavily bruised butt cheeks. From playful bedroom bondage to full suspension rope bondage. As with all sexual explorations, I believe it is best to proceed slowly. Try new things out one at a time, so you have time to notice your responses. What do you find arousing? What pushes your limits? Where are your boundaries? By moving slowly you will gain more information about your own desire and be less likely to get hurt.

It is all too easy to get over eager by the imagery that is available online. With patience and confidence, exploring kink can be an amazing way to expand your sexual boundaries. Moving too fast may be a danger to both your body and your relationship!

Thank you for your comments. Yes - taking it slow is the best advice - and the simple tie me up game can move very quickly to other explorations if people are getting their information on line. Thank you for expanding the conversation! My altar has a picture of me in a straight jacket trying to get out.

It's not from a BDSM scene. It's from a photo shoot. I truly wanted to feel what it is life to live in a straight jacket: no options. The self-coaching moment was permission. If I give everyone permission to control me, then I must live in their control. But, I have choice in my life.